The Blazing Burrito
Touch-Free Car Washes

After recent experiences, I have decided to open a lawsuit against the makers of touch-free car washes.

The problem I have is that their name implies that your car will look “washed” once you travel through a touch-free car wash. This is not the case.

So, my suit will force them to legally change their name from “touch-free car washes” to “touch-free car less-dirty-afiers.”

I am also hoping for a sizable cash reward. If that dame who spilled coffee on herself received a billion dollars, I figure I should be entitled to like at least a few million.

Whatever.